The misunderstood CQNer


“Jist git yer nose oot o’ that screen, ye’ve been stuck on there aw night

An’ here’s me stretched oot feeling keen, for sore eyes I’m a sight

Wae Negligee that’s sheer an’ hugs each contour that I’ve got

Come on an’ have just wan wee look, oh boy ah’ll make ye hot.”.


            “I hear you dear I’ll not be long, just need to post this gem

             An interloper’s been unmasked, he’s spouting loads of phlegm

           ‘See you ya bam ye talk pure keech, yer just a hurtin hun

           Ye cannae spell, ye cannae parse, ah’ve got ye on the run.’” 


“Will ye leave that bliddy screen alone, stop pressin that f 5

Let’s rumble on the floor again, ma passion’s still alive

Imagine whit I’d do fur you, and where ma teeth would sink

A smile, a glance, a giggle, wow!, a nod and then a wink.”

“Cough ..Hurrumph… hurrumph”

           “Ah’m no’ a hun”, “aye ye ur”, naw ah’m no,” “ur so”! 

           “season ticket holder” “whit section, an’ whit row?” 

            “412, row B, seat 9” “whit? Yer next tae me?”

            “is that you Da? How’s ma maw?” “she’s pittin oot ma tea?”

Sound of sawn-off double barrelled shot-gun getting cocked.!!!

“If you don’t get yer erse in gear, I’ll likely swing fur you

It’s  Celtic this and Celtic that, ma face will turn huns’ blue

C’mon ‘ya bam’, ah really need you over here tae give,

A bit o’slap an’ tickle, your choice ‘tae die or live’”

        “I’m all done now my fairy queen, I’ve only eyes for you

         It’s time to get down to the biz, it’s time to bill an’ coo

        An’ here’s a present just for you, you’ll never guess I bet

         A web enabled cam to post our passion on the net.” 

B      A      N     G!!!!!

 B      A      N     G!!!!! (Just to make sure)

Hail Hail

Estadio (who a long time ago had some experience of this type of exchange)!!

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