Vorld VAR Vone

THE GOOD SIDE OF V.A.R.

The Rangers board, eyes popped wae fright,
As headlines shrieked …”VAR GETS THE NOD”
The chairman said… “feck! This is shite”
“This is no way to treat The FOD”

“Haud yer wheesht” the newsreel screamed
“there’s mair that has been stipulated”
“it’s worse than anything you’ve dreamed”
“The checks are gonnae be backdated”

“Aw naw” the board in concert wailed
“ What if they cover Legned’s years
“Our NINE might end up being curtailed
“Our sniggers drowned wae acid tears”
 

“Its worse than that…our club is smitten
reviews go back tae film’s invention
History’s tae be rewritten
And of the ‘gers’ there’s no’ a mention.”

Bigot songs all put on mute,
“Wee arra people” never screeched
Nae marching sash, nae squealing flute,
Nae suckers’ blood frae dumb-fecks leeched.

“Our years on earth a ripened boil
ANY trophy will be our furst!”
Our royal loyal, six feet ‘neath soil
The “fifty five” that plook is burst

But then appeared from hellish ash
A burnin’ soul that Satan fried
“Aw right Ah may have just been on the lash
“the fact is folk we feckin died”

“That chase I mentioned wisnae welcome,
We knew that wan day we’d be rumbled
But still oor fans “deif, daft an’ dumb”
Donated cash and never grumbled.

“They’d clearly misconstrued the score
and thought ‘all’s well’, but here’s the gen
Those letters on my hellish door
Spelt ‘S-lied’ not ‘S-truth’ … We’re Deid!…AMEN!”

“An’ whit is worse” the suits wailed greetin’
“The pawn shop’s deemed ‘nae mair a lender’..
“We cannae pay for lights or heatin’
“It’s time to cry….. ‘Aye…WE SURRENDER’..”