10 years and counting….

In one of those comedic Damascene moments, as I moved into my latest accommodation 10 years ago next month, with the great intentions and resolve of the claustrophobic prisoner I thought….”Just what I need, a stopper to preserve the undrunk remainder of wine in the uncorked bottle”.

At a VERY conservative estimate of 3 bottles of wine a week…..(excluding the roughly one third of the time I spent travelling) that comes to 1040 bottles, none of which have had as much as a dreg left for afters or even the next day’s breakfast.


SPFL Response to Rangers’ Status Quo statement


In response to The Rangers’ statement that the status quo cannot hold’, the S.P.F.L . board have leaked their response as follows….

Ref: Your statement re Status Quo

To: The Zombies


The Foundations of your position are a bit of a Uriah Heep and you really should be eating some Humble Pie while your Chairman of The Board sends out The Searchers in an attempt to restore some Credence, find some Clearwater and plant the seeds of Revival in a future Nirvana.

As you become The Seekers of salvation you may think of appealing to your Queen but as she’s really a Tim, you will undoubtedly just sink further in Mud.

There were too many Showstoppers in your proposal . Additionally The Undertones of and Kinks in your claims demonstrated that your intentions were no more than a Sham 69, causing it to go down like a Led Zeppelin

The Doors to our offices are always open and, though when we say The Rangers many will reply ”The Who?”, we remind you that The Rolling Stones gather no moss.

So Freda Payne-ful as The Clash of egos has been, let’s not be Pretenders. We know that you believe that a Genesis is possible, but as you have been shown up to be The Stooges it really is unlikely!

Perhaps you may see this as the end of a Love Affair, prefer your own Bad Company, and revert to your undoubtedly comfortable existence as a Supertramp while finding an Oasis of calm in sharing a spliff at the lodge with the eponymous Doobie Brothers.

Yes you really are a Mötley Crüe, never reticent about ignoring The Commitments to society.

So all we can say is Amen corner to that and remind you that no one has yet found The Cure to whatever Madness has reduced U2 a state of Lady GaGa.

After the Poison you self-administered….or was it self-liquidated?…., you can now wallow in your twilight existence as the Grateful Dead….(If you can’t provide sufficient wallowers, we can help!)

So as you Rage Against The Machine you may wish to think of that great cross between Lee Wallace and Father Tom White of St Alphonsus’, Judas Priest, and pray for forgiveness.

Now as you find yourself in Dire Straits may we wish all The Animals a goodNight Rangers, and hopefully tomorrow won’t be too full of Moody Blues but be a fine Green Day.


The S.P.F.L… Scottish Peter’s Fenian Lawwelleers.

p.s. If at the lodge you get the munchies, take a tip from “Raymond Pink Floyd” …..Meatloaf is brilliant when cooked in T.Rex

Told you it was an exclusive…